Home Projectionist

Most of the 2011 Oscar nominees are now available for home theater viewing in some form or another. Are you a self-respecting home projectionist? Do you plan on screening one or more of the nominated films for your friends or family in the near future? As a would-be theater owner, you won’t want to just roll the movie all by itself, naked, alone and afraid. You definitely will want to value-add the experience for your guests. That means giving them the right “appetizer” with their movie meal.

No visit to an actual theater is complete without an opening salvo of policy trailers, a plug for the concession stands, or pleas to pitch your trash. These are aimed at general audiences. But you can tailor yours to be compatible with your audience and the Academy Award nominee:

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN Vanessa Michelle Williams was nominated as Best Actress for her portrayal of Marilyn Monroe during the filming of THE PRINCE AND THE SHOWGIRL. Your audience for this picture might tend to skew a little older. In that case, they’ll probably remember being musically thanked for coming to the theater, and also for sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying the show (and being shushed):

HUGO It’s possible you’ll have an excited child or two for this really terrific Martin Scorsese Best Picture nominee. “We must insist on absolute quiet!” sounds a little harsh. So why not let this gentleman do it for you:

THE HELP It’s a movie about domestic service–cleaning and (especially) cooking. So, let’s all go to the lobby to have ourselves some treats. Chocolate pie, anyone?

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE If your noisy guests are taking the “extremely loud”  part of the title too literally, this short trailer may be just the thing:

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS Do you have punctual friends? Friends who expect the movie to end exactly at midnight? Then you need a countdown clock:

WAR HORSE Does your audience have an appetite like–as well as for–a horse? This elf-like creature consumes mass quantities of refreshments as he counts down the time:

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON This nominee’s extravagant array of visual effects calls for “the most extravagant array of refreshment goodies ever assembled under one roof!”

THE DESCENDANTS Is your audience all approximately the same age (if not as good looking) as George Clooney, the star of this excellent Best Picture nominee? Then they’ll most likely remember this catchy jingle very clearly:

All of these short, short trailers are available on YouTube. Thank you, and please deposit your trash on the way out.